


Shall We Do It?

by noodlerdoodler



Series: Drabbles for Davekatweek [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Asexual!Dave, First Time, Implied Masturbation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 04:26:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4732748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodlerdoodler/pseuds/noodlerdoodler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that Karkat's come of age, he wants to uphold a certain troll tradition with his matesprit Dave.</p><p>Alternatively: Dave's uncomfortable with pailing but agrees to give it a try for Karkat's sake. </p><p>Day Seven: Free Day</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shall We Do It?

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something just using dialog.  
> Disclaimer: I'm ace/aroflux.

"Dave." 

"Karkat." 

"I need to talk to you about something." 

"Can it wait until morning?"

"No, because then you'll be busy with some stupid fucking thing." 

"I'm not always busy." 

"You are." 

"I'm not too busy for you." 

"Dave, I'm trying to talk here. Shut your trap." 

"Sorry." 

"Anyway, what I was trying to say is-" 

"You're pregnant?"

"I said, shut up!" 

"Is it Terezi's?" 

"You are such an asshole. I'm trying to ask you something important here!" 

"I'm just teasing, Karkles." 

"Fuck off!" 

"Okay, you can talk now." 

"Thank you. So, we've never done it." 

"What?" 

"We've never done, you know, _it_." 

"We've never done what?"

" _It_. You know, the thing you do when you come of age?" 

"Are you talking about taxes?" 

"What?" 

"Oh yeah. Talk taxes to me, Karkat, that's real sexy." 

"Dave, we've never PAILED." 

"........."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" 

"You want to have sex with me?" 

"Pail." 

"Pail, right. You really want to?" 

"Of course I want to." 

"You know that I...." 

"I understand, Dave. You've told me a million times before that you don't like pailing or anything like that. You only like your right hand." 

"Correct." 

"But you said if I really wanted to..." 

"Yeah. I mean, I don't really dig the whole sex deal, Kitkat." 

"So, you're never going to pail me?" 

"I didn't say that... Jeez..." 

"You don't want to pail?" 

"It's not that I don't want to. It just... Makes me uncomfortable, that's all." 

"Okay, I won't ask again." 

"..........." 

".........." 

"Karkat, if it's really important to you-"

"No, it's fine. I kinda understand." 

"You do?" 

"Yeah. Pailing grosses you out. Like Kankri." 

"Don't compare me to Kankri."

"But you're the same thing, right?" 

"If you mean ace, yeah, sure."

"Is it a different thing?"

"He's aromantic, right? I'm not like that. I can dig the romantic stuff but the sex thing... I don't know, it just makes me feel really uncomfortable." 

"Okay. I get it now." 

"But, Karkat, if you really want to pail..." 

"Mhm?" 

"I might be willing to do it if you really want to." 

"No, it's okay. I don't want you to be uncomfortable." 

"But it's a really important thing for trolls, right?" 

"It's not necessary. It's just traditional to pail when you come of age." 

"Man, most people just get a car, not a weird alien dick in their ass."

"Dave, no." 

"Sorry." 

"..........."

"Hey, Kitkat?"

"...... Your hand seems to be on my leg." 

"I'm going to pail you now." 

"You are?" 

"Yep." 

"Won't it squick you out or some shit?" 

"A little. But I'll do it for you." 

"If it gets too much, promise that you'll tell me." 

"I promise." 

"And- Mhmhmhmmm."

"Shushhhhh." 

"Mhmm." 

"Ah, mhmmhm." 

"You're the best, Dave." 

"Shut up and let me get your zipper." 

"That's so sexy." 

"It's hard to do this when you're giggling." 

"I'm not giggling. It's a manly chuckle." 

"Sure thing." 

"Shut up, I've heard that high pitched scream of yours." 

"Oh, please, Dave Strider never screams." 

"You screamed pretty loud when you found that spider in your room." 

"It was hairy!" 

"You're an idiot." 

".........." 

"........." 

"Wow, so that's a tentabulge." 

"Well, duh." 

"That is some hentai shit." 

"Shut up." 

"It's so small." 

"I said shut up." 

"It's adorable." 

"Shut up!" 

"How are you going to screw me with that?" 

"SHUT UP." 

"Can I touch it?" 

"Go ahead- arghh!" 

"That was a very sexy noise, Karkles." 

"It's very sensitive!" 

"Loser." 

"Shut up and take your pants off." 

"Aren't you meant to tear them off?" 

"Am I?" 

"I don't know. Are you?" 

".........." 

".........." 

"Do you know anything about pailing, Karkat?"

"Do you know anything about it, Dave?" 

"Fuck off, I asked first." 

"You're the one that grew up surrounded by... You know, _toys_." 

"Yeah, why do you think this is making me feel weird?" 

"Are you thinking about smuppets whilst holding my bulge?" 

"Maybe." 

"That's disgusting." 

"Sorry." 

"Are you sure that you're okay with doing this?" 

"Sure. I don't want you to miss out on important troll traditions." 

"Nice underwear, Strider." 

"Thanks. Look at all the little time symbols."

"Did that come with your lame pyjamas?" 

"Of course."

".........." 

"........." 

"What the fuck is that?" 

"That's not what you're meant to say when somebody pulls out their dick." 

"Do you even know what you're doing with that flaccid thing?" 

"It's not flaccid. This is just what it looks like." 

"Can I touch it?"

"I'd prefer if you didn't."

"Okay, sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"Are you ready?" 

"Yeah. You?" 

"Yeah. You sure?"

"I'm certain. Let's do this." 

"What are you- OH, FUCK!" 

"Did I do it wrong?" 

"G-give me a second." 

"Am I hurting you?" 

"No. My nook just... Needs to adjust." 

"Gross, man." 

"Don't call my nook gross." 

"Are you good now?" 

"I think so. Go slowly." 

"Sure." 

"........"

"........"

"........"

"........"

"Dave, are you okay?" 

"I... I... Yeah."

"We can stop if you're not comfortable."

"........"

"Dave, stop." 

"Sorry." 

"No, it's okay. Relax." 

"I thought I could do this for you." 

"It's fine. Really, really. I don't mind." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah- fuck, it's fine." 

"I'm a bad matesprit." 

"Matespritship isn't just about pailing, you know." 

"Yeah. I just feel like... I've failed you." 

"Pailing isn't important to me. You are." 

"Thanks, Karkat."

"It's okay. Just let me deal with.... _this_ and then, we can watch a movie or something." 

"And you're really okay with all this?" 

"Sure. If you go find a movie with Troll Drew Barrymore in, I'll get to work here."

"You're the sweetest." 

"Yeah, I know. Make some weird human food whilst you're up." 

"Mac 'n' cheese sound good to you?" 

"Yes. I love you." 

"I love you too."


End file.
